“Once upon a time, a group of special needs moms started talking about their lives. They talked about being devoted to their children and about making sure that their kids’ needs are met. But somewhere along the way, they had forgotten to take care of themselves. Shannon and Alysia started The Oxygen Mask Project for one reason only: to give parents a place to feel supported when they take a moment to catch their breath.”
Welcome to: #TheYearOfTheOxygenMask!
What was the impetus to start The Oxygen Mask Project?
OMP was founded by friends Alysia Butler and Shannon Knall, both parents of children with autism. We had the luxury of meeting for lunch one day; no small feat as we live in different states and both have three young children at home!
Inevitably we talked about our kids…autism…the overwhelming realities we face, but we also laughed. And it felt good. We realized in that moment, that it was imperative for us to get out, to do something for ourselves…to laugh. And we needed to do that for ourselves; for our kids. Regardless of abilities or disabilities, ALL parents can get tapped out.
Amen. That’s SO inspiring and so true! What do you think social media has done for parents who have kids with diverse needs and exceptionalities?
Both Alysia and I agree that the time shortly following our kids’ diagnoses was one of the most isolated and bleak periods in our lives.
For parents seeking information and support, social media has provided the opportunity for community. Sites like Facebook and twitter can take a bit of the isolation away by allowing parents from all over the world to connect, share and network.
Why do you think it’s so powerful?
There’s a power in hearing from a complete stranger that you are not alone.
Many parents, for whatever reason, are afraid to admit in person that they are struggling.
Maybe for some it’s because they wanted to be a parent for so long that they shouldn’t complain that it is so hard. Or maybe because the mom or dad down the street makes it seem so easy. It can make you wonder why it is so hard for you. Social media sites can connect people from all over the world through a common interest with a little bit of anonymity. So while you might not have anything in common with your neighbor, you might with another mom or dad in, say, South Africa. We know people who say that their online friends know more about them and “get” them better than their in real life friends.
How do parents find the strength to take that first breath of air for themselves?
We think it’s important that parents don’t become more overwhelmed trying to make time for themselves! The first step doesn’t have to be monumental…it should be manageable.
Our lives are frenetic. Find something simple like drinking a whole cup of coffee…while it’s hot.
Good one! I’m going to attempt that today 🙂 What is your advice to parents who have recently received a diagnosis and don’t know where to begin?
It’s important to remember that life with a disability is a marathon, not a sprint. As parents of those with disabilities we need to pace ourselves. Just as the needs of typical children change, so do the needs of those with disabilities and in order for that to happen we do have to let some things go. But we don’t have to choose to sacrifice our health for that. Breathe. One foot in front of the other.
What are some of your favorite examples of how some parents catch their breath? It’s different for everyone right?
It really is different for everyone! Some parents are going to the doctor for the first time in years to take care of themselves Some are finding time to spend time with friends. Some are painting their home, running marathons, taking a vacation, saying no to an invitation to join a school committee. It’s about finding something that makes each person feel better. Even if just for five minutes.
About the Author:
I just started ukulele lessons. I’ve been wanting to learn an instrument for years and I’m finally doing it. Thanks to Shannon and Alysia for creating this meaningful mission that resonates so deeply with all of us.
Read more from Sara Winter at squag.com … [skwag] a curated social space for kids with autism (and other learning differences) to build ideas about themselves. Our goal is to facilitate the opportunity for organic relationships; driven by kids, supported by parents. What could be better?
Twitter: @squagdotcom
