There are many articles written on what to say when your child has this concern and it is unfounded.
But what if your son/daughter does have a weight issue? What should you do then?? First, I want to strongly caution you to understand what constitutes excess weight. Perhaps a trip to your family doctor is a good first step and a private conversation after the visit.
I am the mother of 4 boys. The story I am going to share with you would be no different if I had 4 girls. As a mother and personal trainer it has always been very important to me to feed my kids well, teach them what is good for them and keep them active. When they were young and all lived with me and I made all their school lunches this was fairly easy. But when their father and I separated almost 5 years ago everything changed. They were at his house several nights a week and he often chose the easy way; eating out often, keeping junk in the house for treats etc. Slowly but surely I saw my youngest two (who spent the most time with him) gain weight. One more than the other. I didn’t say anything. It was hard, but honestly, I really didn’t know how to approach him and what to say. Then one day he came to me, in tears; “Mom, I am fat, I hate it. I don’t want to be fat!” I had to force myself not to cry, my heart went out to him as he was so upset. I feebly tried to say “but honey you’re not fat…”. He grabbed his belly fat and cried out “yes I am, please help me!” I quickly realized that this was my one chance to do this right. I had to reassure him that he had control of this and that he could change it, but without making him feel any worse about himself. I realized that I needed to empower him to make some changes. Through conversation he realized on his own that what had changed in his life was the days he was with his Dad. My son and I discussed what he could change that would make a difference. I also helped him with what he could say to his Dad to get access to healthier food and different choices he could make when they did go out for dinner.
He made me so proud! He increased his activity levels but mostly changed how he ate and sure enough the weight came off. Now at 16 he is 6′ tall and skinny as a rail as happens when you grow 4″ over night (it seems…). But when he gets into the junk food too much I still tell him that even though he doesn’t have to worry about his weight, it is unhealthy to eat like that and that he should eat well for health not weight.
As much as I never want to teach any child that it is better to be thin or skinny, it is also extremely important to recognize when they are engaging in unhealthy behaviour and help them change that. These are skills for life.
Has your child ever come to you with this concern? What did you say?
About the author:
Elisabeth Kemp is a Fitness, Nutrition and Lifestyle coach, and as the owner of FIT4YOU (www.fit4you.ca) loves being able to help people find ways to live active and healthy lives. She is also working as a PRO TRAINER delivering certification courses to those who wish to follow in her footsteps and become personal trainers. Her passion for living a life filled with vitality is evident in her 4 boys who are growing up to be very active and healthy young men.
Elisabeth is living, breathing proof that you can have a family, a career and an active lifestyle. When she is not working with her clients, teaching boot camp or blogging you can find her on the trails mountain biking with her boys or skiing in the winter.
Follow Elisabeth on Twitter at www.twitter.com/elisabethfit4u, or follow her blog at http://elisabethfit4you.wordpress.com Elisabeth Kemp, Fit4You
