I sincerely hate to sound like my parents, but things really were different when I was a kid.
Perhaps it’s just a matter of degree (Atari vs. iPad, Wii vs. outside), yet that degree is fundamental and intrinsic to how parents assess and manage the vast number of technology-based choices available to their children.
My parenting boundaries are daily being tested by the likes of Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, apps over apps…
I can barely keep an eye on my own store of passwords and online flotsam, so it can feel exhausting just thinking about having to monitor another (and certainly more popular) person`s activities online.
There is no getting around the omnipotent lure of the wired world. My family Rockwell will be drawn on a Mac with the pitchfork replaced with a laptop and dear Momma wearing Google glasses.
I’m still wary of the siren song of the uber-connected life, though. The impact these media have on a child’s development and well-being is barely understood.
The extent of a child`s social life and sense of identity were pretty limited in the bad old days before the world wild web. Rumours and bullying went on in the schoolyard, but the social fall-out zone was relatively contained.
The modern incarnation barely resembles this world. This playground is global.
Kids now have elaborate online existences where these same, previously sheltered, social interactions, are taking on a life of their own.
I`m often stunned by the tone and general cruelty of the comments kids post on their various online media. Simple schoolyard taunts have morphed into permanent and widely- viewed narratives. The nascent narcissism in some of the online banter also raises a brow.
Maybe I shouldn’t be too surprised, given the bullying and selfishness on display in the grown-up world. The kids come by it honestly enough.
On the other hand, I can’t overlook the benefits of this hyper-connectivity when I note that my son wore pink to his public school today for an enormously popular (and touching) anti-bullying campaign that owes a lot of its success to the very medium that amplifies bullying behaviour.
(Aside: Don`t ask me why the TDSB is celebrating this event in April rather than February 27, its “official” day, duh. Just after Crazy Hat Monday and before Pizza Friday. See what I mean about how things were different when I was a kid? Take that hat off inside the school, Mr. Hughes, and enjoy your soggy tuna sandwich.)
And who can deny that public transportation in Toronto has become almost tolerable because of our gadgets? No more vacant window stares and mock-studied indifference!
The high-tech world has its risks and rewards. As with most double-edged parenting swords, the realistic approach helps me navigate. The kids love their technology and we accept its role. We aim to guide them through its use so that they become aware and responsible users.
The access isn’t unfettered and the filters are firmly in place. The rest of the issue would appeal to Parenting 101:
Open communication.
Supervision.
Periodic spot checks.
Some honesty doesn’t hurt. Once the Internet genie is out of the bottle, it’s hard to cork his ugly side, complete with the spam confusing children into thinking they are bald or that they’ve won a Nigerian lottery.
I had to walk my parents through Internet safety. Where the old folks struggled to wrap their heads around some of the dangers lurking online, the kids seem wise beyond their years.
That’s sort of encouraging, if not a bit sad.
Almost as sad as realizing you really are your parents.