photo: © Konstantin Sutyagin – Fotolia.com
You know you need it. You know you want it. We’re talking about a date night!
As a parent, it’s easy to let weeks and even months go by without spending quality time with your partner—and that’s not great for anyone involved. It’s important for you to connect as a couple and important for kids to see their parents enjoying each other’s company.
If you’re putting off the romance because babysitting is too expensive, read our article on how to get free child care with a babysitting co-op.
Date-Night Ideas
Relive the early days. Remember the things you loved to do when you first met and do them again, whether it’s going to an art museum, playing arcade games, watching a soccer match, or dancing.
Learn something new. Couples who push boundaries together are stronger for it. Go rock climbing, take a cooking class, go salsa dancing, or try your hand at archery.
Do a wine, beer, or Scotch tasting. It’s fun to compare notes and either test your tasting acumen on each other, or laugh together at your unrefined palates.
Make a reservation. Don’t just do dinner at the local joint where you take the kids or at a place that’s convenient. Make it an event: reserve something special. Do some research into the most authentic Indian in town, a French bistro with an amazingly romantic patio, or the new izakaya that’s all the rage.
See a comedy show. Laughing together is a surefire way to get out of your routine and ensure you go home with a smile on your face.
Stay home alone. Send the kids away with family or for a slumber party with friends, and have the house to yourselves!
Watch a movie…and discuss. Going to the movies is an obvious date-night choice, but sitting together in front of a screen isn’t exactly about connecting. The key is to see something that you’ll want to discuss afterward; plan a dessert or drinks after the movie to talk about the movie. Choose something intellectual or with emotional impact that spurs conversation.
Book a hotel. You’ll need an all-night sitter or a really great friend or family member, but an overnight at a local hotel may be the only way you can really relax, since you don’t have to get up with the roosters the next day!
Daytime Date Ideas
And think outside the evening date: you can do a daytime date, too. As a parent, staying up until the wee hours just isn’t as fun as it used to be, especially when you have to get up at the crack of dawn with small children. During the day, you’re both alert and can enjoy one another’s company.
Wander the streets. One of the best dates our editor has had with her spouse was just walking through a neighbourhood, chatting, popping into shops and browsing, grabbing a coffee and lounging on an outdoor patio. Strolling slowly with no particular destination in mind is a luxury parents rarely experience.
Pack a picnic. Pack a romantic meal for two and head for a park or beach
Go for a hike. A date doesn’t have to cost anything at all: you can go on a hike in a conservation area, or do a city hike through a park or along a waterfront trail and catch up with each other. Walking gets the conversation flowing and is a great stress-reliever.
Make a joint bucket list. This is a great way to reinvigorate your entire life and to be sure you’re working fun things and aspirations as a couple and as a family into your life. Throw out all kinds of ideas: white-water rafting with the kids, building a treehouse, doing volunteer work. And set a timeline so you can start looking forward to the next adventure together.
Go out for brunch. It’s not the traditional dinner date, but brunch can be a fun change of pace, especially if you choose a place where it’d be impossible to get a table with three kids—and where your kids would never appreciate the duck huevos rancheros or blood-orange mimosas anyway.
Quick Mini-Date Ideas
Only have an hour or two? Here are some ideas for a fun quickie…er, quick date!
Meet up after work. Arrange a playdate for the kids after daycare or school, or leave work a bit early to meet up for a drink or pop into an art gallery, just like you did in the old days, but be home for dinner and bedtime.
Have coffee and dessert. Or just coffee or dessert! Either is a nice break to enjoy something together and have a little conversation fuelled by caffeine and/or sugar.
Meet for lunch. If you both work full-time, meet at a romantic spot for lunch, even if it’s having a sandwich in the park.
Go for a stroll. Going for a short walk together to talk (about things other than your to-do list and the kids) can be a great way to connect. Squeeze it in as part of your commute if you take public transit: agree to meet 30 minutes from home and walk the rest of the way together.
At-Home Date Ideas
If you must do an at-home date, set some ground rules: no computer or phone, no TV in the background, no housework or answering phone calls or texts. This is a break from “regular” life. Treat it like something special.
Play a game. Choose a board game or two and take each other on. Or crack out the kids’ Wii or Kinect and see what you’ve been missing. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen your spouse attempt to “Dougie”. Stock up on game-night snacks and drinks to make it more of an event.
Create romance. Lower the lights, order in, open a bottle of wine, put on music (no TV!) and maybe light a candle or two; you may be surprised what a difference it can make just to break out of your routine. If the kids are young, try to move up their bedtime. With older kids, we thought this idea from a family of seven was great: decree a “peace and quiet night”, where the kids get an easy dinner in another room and then keep busy with games or a movie, agreeing not to bother mom and dad until bedtime.
Work out together. Granted, this isn’t for everyone, but if you and your main squeeze love to get sweaty together (in more ways than one), and enjoy a healthy dose of competition, this might be just the thing. Be sure to encourage each other and celebrate with a green smoothie afterward!
Start a book club for two. It may sound corny, but we’ve tried this at the cottage without TV or wi-fi! Choose a book you both want to read and then have a “date” to discuss. If it’s hard to find time to read a whole book, do it chapter by chapter. Bonus: if you’ve been missing reading, this is a bit of an extra nudge to get into the habit again.
