The word sorry tends to become lodged somewhere between my brain and my vocal chords. It’s a difficult word to say. It’s not that I don’t feel regret, it’s more a matter of my aversion to being wrong or making a mistake. Call it the Virgo in me or the product of being the eldest daughter, but saying, “I’m sorry” gives me pause. It might be a genetic trait because I also see this in my daughter.
As difficult as spitting out the s-word may be, when I’m wrong I admit it and apologize. I’m finding more often lately that this isn’t the case for everyone. It’s increasingly rare to actually hear a person, or company for that matter, say they’re sorry and really mean it. They often look around in hopes of finding someone else to blame. Or perhaps it’s a stall tactic aimed at finding time to pull together a lame excuse for their actions. Accidents happen, and there is usually more than one side to a story, but the right thing to do is to be accountable and… say you’re sorry.
Ironically, the word sorry is far from underused. The issue is that it’s not properly or meaningfully used. (To grossly generalize) I find women tend to “over sorry.” I myself will apologize if someone steps on my foot or cuts me off in line. What the heck is that all about?? I’ve obviously passed this reflex down to my daughter who also apologizes when she may not even need to.
So in this generation of “Sorry Sayers” who use the word to smooth over an awkward situation or simply as synonym for “excuse me,” how can we prove our sincerity when we truly feel regret? I don’t profess to have the answer, but I’d sure like to know. If you defend yourself you sound like an idiot, if you blame someone else you sound like a coward, but if you just simply and quietly apologize, people question your sincerity. It’s that whole “The boy who cried wolf” scenario.
For the record, if I ever tell you I’m sorry you can be sure I really and truly meant it. Unless of course, you bumped into me on the subway. In that case, sorry might happen to mean, pardon me.
