Our oldest son Big Boy is six years old and just completed Grade One. He will now be home with our youngest, Little Man and I all day, everyday, for two months.
The boys get along most of the time. But like all siblings, they have their moments, so today I decided that we need some Summer House Rules:
1) Share.
This is a big issue in our house at the moment. The two year old is having a difficult idea with the concept of sharing. Everything is “me” right now, which is the word he uses because he cannot say “mine” yet. Big Boy also has a hard time sharing, even at the age of six. So, we are going to work on trying to share more often. It is going to be reinforced and hopefully there will be less fighting and crying over toys.
2) Keep our hands to ourselves.
Boys are aggressive. They like to be physical and tend to react to situations in a physical way. For a while Little Man would hit me whenever he did not get his way. He has for the most part stopped this as we have had a number of timeouts and chats with him about it. I am not sure he understood but the physical reactions have greatly lessened. Further, when the boys get upset with one another, they tend to fight by hitting and shoving. To alleviate this, I have explained to Big Boy that if Little Man starts to get heated or if he is the one who is upset, just walk away or go to another room. I told him to take himself out of the situation and with any luck things will calm down.
3) Be your own boss.
Kids are bossy. They like to think they are the ones in charge. My kids are no different. They think they rule the roost. Big Boy has a tendency to tell Little Man what to do. What he tells him may not be the way we would want our boys to act. So, I find myself always saying, “don’t be a boss” to Big Boy. I explained to Big Boy that we have to be our own boss and worry about ourselves, not others. That is in the sense that we should be making sure we watch our own behaviour and make sure we are acting in an appropriate manner.
4) Leave it alone.
This has been my mantra today. Little Man is very persistent. As he doesn’t have a huge verbal vocabulary he tends to get stuck on repeat a lot. Whenever he wants something he believes he should have or should be his, he always says, “me!” When the kids are in conflict, “me” comes out a lot. Then, Big Boy follows suit and repeats what he is saying. This makes Little Man more aggravated and he starts repeating even more. I have told Big Boy that sometimes we just need to “leave it alone.” Drop the subject and move on. If he does not respond to Little Man, then maybe Little Man will drop it as well.
5) Walk away.
This is one rule some adults should probably take into consideration when it comes to conflict. I know I need a reminder sometimes to take myself out of the equation. I explained to Big Boy that when he starts to notice that Little Man is getting upset, just walk away. I told him that if Little Man follows him, just ignore him and try not to react. We shall see how it goes.
6) Listen with open ears.
Living with a bunch of boys, sometimes I feel like what I say falls on deaf ears. I swear my boys already have selective hearing! While out for a walk to the park today I kept telling Big Boy to wait for us. He kept on walking. I asked him nicely to please wait for us at the street crossing. Nope, he walked ahead and crossed the street anyway. When discussing the house rules this afternoon I told Big Boy that he needs to listen to what I have to say. I explained that most of what I am trying to tell him is important and could very well be for his own safety as I do not want him to get hurt.
7) Be kind. Be polite.
This is a constant rule in our house. We want our boys to grow up minding their manners, always using please and thank you’s. We also stress to them that people need to be treated with respect. We treat others the way we would like to be treated ourselves. The latter is referred to as the Golden Rule and it sure is one of the most important life lesson in my books.
Let’s hope that these house rules help keep me sane this summer.
Who am I kidding, I will never be sane again!
Do you have a set of house rules for your family?
Brandy is a stay at home, work at home, study at home mom to two very active boys. She spends entirely way too much time on social media but also loves to read and go for walks. Brandy’s blog can be found at www.insanemamacita.com.
